Forget the World
by Kiso
Summary: Why is the only thing I want the one thing the world won’t give me? Liley.
1. Hot Pink Bikini

**Forget the World**

**By:** Kiso

**Summary:** Why is the only thing I want the one thing the world won't give me? Liley.

Uhh...I've never written a story with a pairing like this, so please bear with me if the story is a bit awkward at times! And if you have a problem with a girl and girl pairing, don't read any farther!

So now, please enjoy! Oh, and sorry if there's some blabberish moments sometimes! Again, please bear with me.  
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**Chapter One:**  
_ Hot Pink Bikini_

**MILEY**

I sat in my history class, honestly trying to pay attention, but it was seven in the morning, and...Lilly was sitting right next to me.

Her long blonde hair was tucked behind her ear, and her small diamond stud earrings glittered in the dim school lights. Her pencil flew across the page, her handwriting small and neat, as she tried to copy down all the notes from the board.

My hand burned to reach out and stroke her hair, to tell her how beautiful she is, to tell her that any guy that broke up with her is a fucking lunatic. I had to sit on it to keep it from doing so.

I looked down and realized that my notebook page was completely blank, while Lilly was on her second page. I probably should've been taking notes, especially since my grade wasn't exactly perfect in here.

I shook my head and sighed, trying to shake out all other thoughts that don't have anything to do with World War One, but it was too hard. One thought stayed in my head. One thought that had been with me for a while now...

I'm in love with my best friend...

---

"Miley!" Oliver said, running over to me, nearly crashing into me.

"Honestly, Oliver, are you sure you don't have two left feet?" I asked him, laughing.

"Ha ha. Anyways, have you seen Lilly?" he asked, looking around.

"Ah. Um, no, but I'm waiting for her to get out of gym class. Why?"

"Oh, John was looking for her," he said hesitantly.

My blood boiled as soon as his name came out of Oliver's mouth. John was Lilly's ex-boyfriend that cheated on her with the biggest bimbo in school. And now he had the nerve to come and try and get Lilly back? Hell no. Hell fucking no.

"Tell him he can look forever because he's never going to fucking find her. Okay?" I said. I could feel my face flushing, my eyes tearing up; my eyes always got teary when I got angry.

"Miley?" I heard Lilly say, softly, behind me.

I breathed deeply and wiped away the tears, before turning around and saying, "Hey, Lills. Ready to go?"

Lilly smiled. "Yep! Let's go!"

"Lilly, wait," Oliver started.

I cut him off with a sharp, "Oliver." I looked at Lilly again and said, "Come on. Please."

Lilly looked back at Oliver, but then said, "O-okay."

After we were away from the school, Lilly spoke up and asked, "What was...um...Oliver about to say?"

I sighed. "John...he wanted to see you."

"He did?" Lilly said, and I could hear some hint of hope in her voice. I really wished she could let him go, but I knew that she wouldn't anytime soon. "Wow. Do you think he wants to get back together?"

I snuck a sideways glance at her, and the look on her face made me want to cry. She looked so hopeful, like being back together with John was a blessing from heaven. I wanted to pick her up and cuddle her and tell her that John didn't deserve her, and she didn't deserve to be treated that way, and again I had to hold back my hands.

"MILEY!" I heard Lilly shriek as I was broken out of my thoughts.

But it was too late; I looked in front of me, and suddenly: BAM. I fell back as my head collided with the metal telephone pole and let out a loud yell. I could see the sky as I kept falling, and I expected to black out as soon as my head collided with the concrete below, but then I felt something stop me.

"Miley!" Lilly cried as she grabbed my arms and stopped me from hitting my head. She pulled me back onto my feet and helped me regain balance. "Are you okay?"

I looked down, noting that she was still holding my arms. "Y-yeah. Thank you for, um, saving me."

Lilly laughed, the sound like angel's harps. "Anytime. You would do the same for me."

I would do anything for you, I thought to myself as she let go of my arms. "So, let's get to my house before I trip over a cat or something."

At my house, we finished our science project and then we just sat around, watching TV. I didn't realize it, but after only a few minutes of watching TV, I was dozing off, leaning against Lilly's shoulder.

"Oh!" I said, snapping up. "Sorry, Lills! I'm just so tired!"

"Me, too. But, hey, I have an idea! Let's call Oliver over and then we can all go to the beach!" Lilly said, her cute blue eyes twinkling.

"The beach. Sounds fun," I said, pulling out my cell phone and calling Oliver.

"Beach. Ten minutes. Be at my house. Bye!" I said, not even giving him a chance to respond; I never did. I had learned early that even though Oliver wasn't much of a talker in person, over the phone he was like an audio book.

When I hung up the phone, Lilly was smiling at me. "Nice," she said, and then her face dropped. "Oh. Crud. I don't have a swimsuit." She started to get up, saying, "I'll just go back to my house really quick and-"

I grabbed her arm and made her sit back down. "Lilly. Please. You can borrow one my swimsuits."

"Really? Oh, thank you so much! Can I have that really cute hot pink one? I'm just kidding! I'll take whichever one you give me!" she said, laughing.

I got up, knowing full well that I would've searched the whole world for that hot pink bikini that I knew she loved so much.

Up in my room, I sighed and slid down the wall. Being around Lilly was getting harder by the second. Every time she smiled, I wanted to reach out and stroke her hair. Every time she laughed, I wanted to grab her face and kiss her. This is horrible, I thought to myself as I slowly got up and searched for our bikinis. Am I ever going to tell her?

Lilly's voice broke me out of my thoughts as she yelled, "OLIVER'S HERE!" I hurried down the stairs, already in my swimsuit, and handed the other one to Lilly.

"Thanks," she said. "I'll go change really quick!" She ducked into my bathroom. I flopped onto the couch and sighed again, totally forgetting that Oliver was right there.

"You okay, Miles?" he asked.

My eyes snapped open. "Oh! Yeah! Me? I'm fine! Heh...heh."

He looked towards the bathroom and then back at me. Straight at me. Like he could see straight through my lie. "Yeah. Okay."

---

"Miley! Oh my gosh! Look at that wave!" Lilly said, pointing to a huge upcoming wave. "I'm gonna go try to surf it! Oliver, you up for it?"

Oliver laid back on his towel and waved her off. "I'm wiped out. You go ahead."

"Okay!" Lilly grabbed her surfboard and ran out into the ocean, laughing.

"So, Miley," Oliver said slowly, turning to me. "When are you gonna tell her?"

My breath caught in my throat. His words cut me like a knife. Of course Oliver would be so damn blunt. "Tell who what?" I said, hoping he wasn't talking about what I thought he was talking about.

"My God, Miles. Don't act dumb. When are you gonna tell Lilly you like her?" he said, still looking at me.

"How do you know I like her?"

"The way you look at her; like she's an angel. The way you talk to her and about her; like there's no one else on the planet that could even come close to being as perfect as her."

"There isn't," I blurted out.

Oliver smirked. "How long has this been going on?"

I sighed and buried my face in my hands. "A long time. God. I like her. So. Much."

"Then tell her, Miles. It's Lilly. Your best friend. You can tell her anything, right?"

"Yeah," I said, looking out at the ocean, right at Lilly. She was surfing the wave a bit unsteadily, the hot pink bikini looking even brighter from where we were sitting.

"So...?" Oliver prodded.

I looked over at him. "Soon...soon."

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So...? Ha ha! Oliver knows everything! But yeah, I really hoped you guys like this!

Me out!

Kiso


	2. Enjoying the View

Chapter Two:

_Enjoying the View_

**MILEY**

Oliver's words swam around in my head.

_When are you gonna tell her? It's Lilly. Your best friend. The way you look at her. You can tell her anything, right?_

Right…?

I sat alone on the beach, waiting for some kind of sign or omen. I didn't really believe in stuff like that, but I really just needed some guidance. I had never felt this way about anybody. I knew there was only one person I could talk. One person that, no matter how much he annoyed me, would always love me and be there for me.

Jackson.

I quickly ran back to my house, not wanting the chance of anyone hearing this conversation. My dad wasn't home yet, but I still went into my room, closing the door behind me.

I picked up my phone and speed dialed him, hoping he wasn't in class. Jackson had moved out a few years ago to go live in a college dorm and I barely even saw him anymore.

"Hey, Miles," he said.

"Hey. I…I have a problem. A really, really big problem," I said, hating the way my voice sounded: sad, confused, tiny, like I was a little kid.

"What's up?"

"I…I'm in love with Lilly. Like, truly, honestly, in love with her. I can't stop thinking about her. When she's around, it takes all my willpower to not kiss her. I've never felt this way about anybody, especially not a…a girl! And it's…Lilly," I noticed how tenderly I said her name, "my best friend. I want her to know but…I'm scared to tell her…I don't what to do. I…I need your help, Jackson…"

He said nothing.

"Jackson?" I said after a moment. "You there?"

"Y-yeah…I was just…um…taking all of that in. Wow, Miles. That's um…wow."

I laughed. "Don't I know it. Oliver said I should tell her. He said that since Lilly was my best friend, she would understand, even if she doesn't feel the same way."

"Well, I think you should take Oliver's advice." Jackson said, his voice calm and soothing. "If you don't tell her, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

"I know," I said softly. "I know." After a pause, I said, "Thanks, Jackson. I love you."

"Love you, too, Miles. Take care of yourself," he said, hanging up.

I closed my cell phone and sighed, flopping back onto my bed.

Scenarios of what could happen ran through my head and before I knew it, I was fast asleep.

_There she was, standing just a few inches away from me. Her golden blonde hair blew slightly in the breeze, her deep blue eyes bright._

"_What did you want to talk about, Miley?" Lilly asked me, smiling._

"_I…I just wanted to say…um…" I was about to say it when I saw a familiar figure standing behind Lilly._

_Lilly glanced behind her and said, "Oh, don't worry! That's just John! Oh, didn't I tell you that we're back together?"_

"_Um…no," I said softly._

"_Well, we are!" Lilly said, giggling. "Anyways! You wanted to say something?"_

"_Um…nah. Forget it. I can just tell you later." I said, trying to smile, trying to fight back tears._

"_Okay! See you later!" Lilly turned away from me and into John's arms. "Oh, John, I love you," I heard her say, hugging him tighter as she did so._

_He said nothing back to her, just glanced at his cell phone._

"_Lilly! Lilly! He doesn't love you! He's not the right one for you! Lilly, Lilly! Lilly, I!" The last two words wouldn't come. I was screaming and yelling, but nothing was coming out._

_Lilly, Lilly, Lilly, no! No, no, no!_

"Lilly!" I said out loud.

"Yeah, Miles?" she replied.

I jerked awake, my eyes flying open.

"Lilly, you're…in my room?" I said slowly, inwardly praying that I hadn't said anything else out loud.

"Yeah, silly! We planned to go to the beach around this time, remember? The door was open, so I…came in. Ah! Sorry! That was rude of me, wasn't it? I'm really sorry!" Lilly said, her face starting to turn pink.

I laughed. "No, silly, you're my best friend! You're always welcome!"

There was a slight pause, with me biting my lip and lying on my bed and Lilly looking at me, her face going back to normal.

"Lills…I…I can tell you anything, right?" I asked, not really even hearing myself. The blood pumped through me and my heart was beating so loudly I would've sworn Lilly could hear it.

"Of course."

I looked at her. All my confidence, all my strength, all my everything vanished as she looked back at me and smiled.

"What is it, Miles?"

"Oh…you know Adam and Taylor?" I said, blurting out the first thing that popped into my head. She nodded. "Well, Adam's totally cheating on her. He's been hanging around with this other girl, all kissing and hugging her, every night."

"What a dick," Lilly said, her expression turning to disgust.

"Mhm," I said, mentally punching myself for not being able to tell her the truth. My cell phone rang and I answered it without even looking at who was calling. "Hello?" I said, out of it.

"Miley? You okay?" Oliver said.

"Yeah…fine. What's up?"

"Oh, I was just wondering if you and Lilly wanted to go to the carnival with me. I, um, didn't really feel like going alone…"

"Yeah, let me ask Lilly," I said, covering the phone and turning to Lilly. "You wanna go to the carnival with Smokin' Oaken?"

Lilly smiled. "Sure."

"Yeah, we'll meet you there," I said to Oliver.

"Okay. In front of the Ferris wheel," he said, hanging up.

Lilly looked a bit distracted.

I softly touched her cheek, without even thinking about it. Her head jerked, her beautiful blue eyes met mine, and I quickly took my hand back. "Um, it's okay, Lilly. Not all guys are like that, I promise," I said softly.

"I know! Um, come on, let's go, before Oliver pees his pants," Lilly said, getting up and extending her hand.

I gladly took it, the warmth of her hand going through my whole body.

**!**

The Ferris wheel stopped, me, Oliver and Lilly stuck at the top.

"Ah! This is the best part!" Lilly said, getting off the seat, holding onto the chain links that kept us from falling out. A slight breeze flew by, blowing Lilly's long blonde hair behind her.

I longed to get up and stroke it, to grab her face and kiss her. To whisper into her ear that I loved her so, so much and that I would never even think of hurting her. But…I couldn't. I looked over at Oliver, who was looking at me.

He raised his eyebrow. I shook my head. He nudged me. "I couldn't, Oliver. I just couldn't."

Lilly glanced at me, but I couldn't even look at her. She looked at me for a second longer before turning her attention to the world below again.

"Miley, come here. Come look," Lilly said. I got up and stood next to her. The carnival was laid out neatly beneath us, little people walking, laughing, just…living. Lilly leaned close to me. "This is all that matters, Miles. Enjoying the view. Forget what you couldn't do, and focus on what you _can_ do." She turned her head and smiled at me. "I'm always here for you, Miles. Just like you've always been there for me. Okay?"

I couldn't speak. Hell, I could barely breathe. Lilly was standing mere centimeters from me, parts of our bodies touching. Lilly's smile was unwavering, and I couldn't move until the little cab jerked and the ride started moving. "O-okay," I said finally.

**!**

"Lilly, wait!" I called out as Lilly turned to go on the path that lead to her house.

She turned around. "Yeah?"

"I, um, wanted to tell you something," I said, brimming with confidence, but, at the same time, filled with fear.

"What is it?"

"Lilly…I…this has been bugging me for a while…" I said, not even knowing how to say it. "Like, it might be weird and it's just…I really need to say it and I, um, need you to know…" I was babbling. I couldn't do it. I couldn't.

"Miley, just spit it out!"

"_Lilly, I'm in love with you!_"

The sound of my confession echoed in the air. The silence and the tension was enough to make me sweat and take a step back, scared to even hear Lilly's voice.

"I," Lilly said, the letter piercing the air. It sounded like a jet plane taking off after the long hush. I braced myself for what was coming next. "I need to think," Lilly finished, and she turned around and took off.

I stared at the path for a long time after Lilly had left. I didn't know what to do, didn't know what to think. I didn't even think I could move from the spot.

But, finally, I did. And the first thing I did when I got home?

Cried.

**!**

**a/n:**

I really hope you guys enjoyed chapter two! I promise, a lot of good stuff is coming. Sorry for the long wait. Gosh, I honestly promise that this story won't die and I'll continue it until the very end!

**to my reviewers:**

You guys rock my socks!


	3. Wholeness

Chapter Three:  
_Wholeness_

**LILLY**

When Miley told me about John cheating on me, I couldn't believe the words that had come out of her mouth. Now, it was happening all over again.

"_Lilly, I'm in love with you!"_

The sentence played over and over and over again in my head. I could see Miley's face: troubled, scared. I wish I could go back and see how I looked when she said those words, those words that I'd never heard before.

I'd stumbled a lot on my way home, and at one point I'd actually fallen face first and laid there, crying. I thought about how John had never actually said "I love you." Every time I would say it, he would look away and say, "Me, too."

And now, Miley had said it. She was the last person I'd ever expected to say that.

I paced around my room, my cell phone burning a hole in my hand. Should I call Miley? Should I not mention it? Should I act like everything hadn't changed and I might never be able to look at her the same ever again?

_What should I do?_

Before I even realized what I was doing, I was dialing a number on my phone and hearing a voice I knew so well on the other end of the line.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Oh my God, Oliver!" I yelled.

He laughed. "She told you?"

I nodded, then realized he couldn't see me nodding, so I said, "Yeah. I'm freaking out, Oliver. I don't know what to do and I don't know what to say." He didn't respond. "Oliver? You there?"

"Yeah. Thinking. Lilly…how do you feel about her?"

And there it was: the question I'd been avoiding ever since Miley had said what she'd said. How _did_ I feel about Miley? I_ loved_ her, but was I _in love_ with her? I'd thought about kissing her, about hugging her tighter than I'd need to.

"What if we go out and we break up? I can't stand to lose Miley. I need her, Oliver. I…I…" I trailed off.

"You love her," he said simply.

"Yes. I…I don't know. It's_ Miley_."

"Exactly! It's Miley! Who's going to treat you better than your best friend?"

"Okay…thanks, Oliver. I'm…gonna go think."

"Okay. Bye, Lilly. Good luck."

Good luck. Like I was about to go get an operation done or I was about to take a test. Not like I was about to decide my future concerning me and my best friend ever.

I didn't know what to do. If I said no to Miley, I would probably never talk to her ever again. If I said yes, I had no clue what would happen. If I said yes and we broke up, I would probably never talk to her ever again!

"This sucks," I said out loud.

I thought about Miley. Miley, with her long brown hair, flowing down her back in naturally beachy waves. Miley, with her twinkling blue-green eyes. Miley, beautiful Miley.

Miley, my best friend.

Miley…

_Who's going to treat you better than your best friend?_

**!**

**MILEY**

I moped around the house, still in my pajamas.

"Bud, you all right?" my dad asked me as I chewed on my cereal sadly.

I was most certainly not all right. It had been two days since I'd told Lilly I was in love with her and all I could do for the last forty-eight hours was sit around the house, cry, or eat cereal. I was chock full of tears, sadness, and Count Chocula. But I wasn't going to tell my dad that.

"I'm fine, Daddy," I said, mustering up a smile for him.

I pushed my bowl aside and laid my head down, like I had always done in preschool when I was upset.

"Are you getting sick?" he put a hand on my forehead.

"Maybe," I mumbled.

The doorbell rang. My heart skipped a beat as I thought of whom it could be, but I told myself not to be silly.

"Don't get your hopes up, Miley," I said into my arm.

"It's Lilly," my dad said. He sounded so far away, even though he wasn't even ten feet from me.

My heart stopped and then started beating like I had just run a marathon. "O-okay," I said, getting up and putting my cereal bowl in the sink. I picked some lint off my shirt. I took my slippers off and carefully arranged them in the corner.

Anything to avoid it.

But then I saw her, standing there in all her Lilly-ness. Her hair down and straight, dressed in denim shorts and a simple pink tank top. There was a little braid by her ear; sloppy but cute. She probably did it when she was walking over here.

"Hi," I said, standing right in front of her.

"Hi," she said. "Could we, um, go for a walk?"

I nodded and stepped out. "Dad, me and Lilly are going for a walk!" I closed the door behind me and shoved flip flops onto my feet.

We walked in strained silence for a while. "So, what's up?" I finally said.

"Been thinking," she replied, kicking a rock.

"About…what?" I asked the question hesitantly, already knowing the answer.

"Us…"

A small, "Oh," made its way out of my mouth. She didn't say anything else, so I asked, "What…about…us?"

She stopped walking suddenly. "Miley, I--!" I waited for her to go on, knowing that she would. "I…I…love you, Miley. Of course I love you! You're my best friend! And…I've thought about us…being more than…friends…but…I never thought of doing anything about it…"

"I'm sorry for putting all of this on you, Lilly! I…I don't want you to feel obligated--!"

"Miley, don't apologize! Me and you…we…we would…look good…together," she fumbled, looking away and blushing, something I had never seen her do.

I took her hand gingerly, rubbing her fingers when she didn't resist. "O…okay. But if it ever gets to be too much, tell me. Okay?"

She nodded and looked at me. She took a step towards me and smiled at me for the first time in days.

**!**

"Fuck. Took you guys long enough," Oliver said when we showed up at his house, standing close and blushing.

"Shut up," I murmured. "Come to my house; we were about to watch a movie."

"Um…okay. Let's go," he said.

We walked in comfortable silence to my house.

"So, what do you guys wanna watch?" I asked them, waiting for the two to sit on the couch; they usually treated my house like their own. "Um…sit?"

Oliver sat down at the end of the couch and sank into the cushions. Lilly shifted her weight from one foot to the other, looking down at the floor.

"Lilly…you can sit, you know," I said nervously, wondering if she was just going to bolt from my house and never talk to me again.

Oliver turned around to face us and shook his head.

"_What?_" Lilly snapped.

He smiled. "Lilly, come on. It's Miley's house; stop acting so weird. You're probably here more than your own house."

Lilly groaned and sat on the other end of the couch.

I smiled and said, "I'll just go get a movie."

I popped in an old comedy we all loved and settled down between Lilly and Oliver on the couch. "Oh! Are you guys hungry? Thirsty?"

"Sprite," Lilly answered, probably without even thinking; it was her usual answer. She blushed and quickly added, "Please!"

I turned to Oliver. "How about some cheddar popcorn, a ham sandwich, and a root beer float?" he said, giving me a toothy grin.

"How about potato chips and Pepsi?" I answered dryly.

I didn't wait for his answer. I got them their stuff, all the while sneaking glances at Lilly, who was picking at a thread on the arm of the couch.

I came up behind and whispered, "Boo," into her ear, trying to cheer her up. She jumped a little and turned to me, smiling softly.

"Boo," she repeated.

I looked at her face; her pink lips were just so inviting, now more than ever. I was just going to brush my mouth over hers until Oliver cleared his throat and said, "Miley? Dying here."

I threw the bag of chips at him and gritted my teeth. I saw Lilly throw him a glare.

I took my spot on the couch again and started the movie. Lilly scooted closer to me and leaned into me awkwardly but comfortably. I smile and rested my head on hers.

Oliver looked over at us and raised an eyebrow, smirking. I stuck my tongue out at him. "Watch the movie."

"I like this show better."

"Why did we invite him?" Lilly murmured.

"I heard that."

"Good!"

I laughed; Lilly was finally relaxing and becoming herself.

**!**

It had been two weeks since me and Lilly had started…I didn't even really know what to call it. Not going out, because it's not like we were really public with the whole thing. Oliver and Jackson were the only ones who knew. Maybe more-than-friend-ing. I laughed to myself as I thought it over one day after Lilly, Oliver, and I had gone to the movies.

My phone rang and I quickly checked the screen before answering. Jackson. "Hey, J," I said cheerily.

"You sound happy," he said.

"I am!"

He laughed. "Good. That's really good. How are you and Lilly?"

I smiled tenderly. "Amazing, I think. She's the best…everything I could've ever asked for. Oh! What about you? You got any ladies?"

He was quiet for a second before finally saying, "I don't wanna jinx it or anything…but I really like this girl and I think she really likes me."

"Yay! I hope it works out for you!"

"Me, too, Miles. Hey, I gotta get to class. Talk to you later."

"Bye, Jackson!" I hung up and flopped back onto my bed, the covers ruffling around me. A smile was on my face and everything in my body felt electric, like my nerve endings were super charged. Everything was so right, I realized. Everything was beautiful and perfect and amazing.

I jumped off my bed and almost flew down the stairs. I couldn't control myself. My body was just moving itself, my mind struggling to keep up.

"Bud? Where's the fire?" my dad chuckled from the couch as I shoved my shoes on.

"Oh, just going to see Lilly! Lots of energy!" I waved and ran out of the door, running and running all the way to Lilly's house. Lilly was outside, tying her shoes, when I tripped over a crack and crashed my way to her, ending up on my butt, sitting right in front of her.

She bit her lip, trying to keep her laugh in. "What are you doing, silly?" She finally cracked up, leaning towards me.

I took a deep breath. "I don't even know. I just wanted to see you."

"I was on my way over," she said, smiling.

And then I leaned in and closed the space between us and I finally kissed Lilly Trescott for the first time and I felt warmth run through me as she kissed me back and everything came together and finally, finally, _finally _life was everything that I had always wanted to it to be.

I pulled away slowly, wanting to see Lilly's reaction, wanting to see if I should apologize. She was smiling gently, a flush coating her cheeks. She leaned in and kissed me again. The feeling of wholeness came with the kiss and I never, ever wanted that feeling to go away.

Everything was perfect when I was with Lilly. And as she looked at me and smiled and her beautiful blue eyes crinkled at the edges and her cheeks turned pink, I could almost forget that I was a girl and she was a girl. I could almost tell myself that all people would see were two people that loved each other.

Almost.

**!**

**Blah Blah Blah:**  
Ah, fluff! There will be more of it in the next few chapters! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!

Thank you for reviewing! It makes my day!


	4. Suddenly, Horribly

Chapter Four:

_Suddenly, Horribly_

**MILEY**

Lilly pouted up at me and I caved. "Fine. We can go for ice cream."

She smiled happily and kissed me on the lips. I felt myself blush, even though I was pretty much used to mine and Lilly's relationship. It had been two months, and things were better than I thought they could ever be.

As we were walking down the beach, eating our ice cream, Lilly glanced at me and said, "Are you going to tell your dad?"

I looked at her and shrugged. I had thought about it and I didn't really know how to even begin to tell him. I tried to imagine his reaction. Would he smile at me and say, "That's great, Bud. I just want you to be happy"? Would he get angry and forbid me from seeing Lilly, would he shun me and think of me as something wrong, something dirty?

"I don't know," I answered quietly. "I…I don't know what he would do."

"I think he'd understand."

"Did you tell your mom?"

Lilly nodded.

"So?"

"She's…not talking to me," she said softly, laughing a little bit. "I think she's coming around, though."

I nodded. If Lilly had the guts to tell her mom, I should be able to tell my dad.

I went to kiss her but she backed away and I remembered that we were in a public place. I sighed and wished I could just kiss her whenever I wanted to.

--

I sat on the couch and absentmindedly flipped through the TV channels. My feet tapped nervously on the floor and I screamed when my dad came in through the back door.

"Bud? You okay?" he asked worriedly, stopping short of coming in.

I nodded and motioned for him to come sit next to me. "I…I have something to t-tell you. It's kinda b-big."

"Okay, Miles. I'm listening."

"Don't hate me, Daddy."

His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes flashed. "What happened, Miley?"

Tears welled up in my eyes and I realized that if he reacted badly, he might think of me as something disgusting.

"Miley, baby, what happened? You can tell me. I could never hate you, darlin'."

"Daddy, I…I…I love Lilly. I'm with Lilly," I blurted out, tears rolling down my cheeks in torrents. I buried my face in my hands, not able to look at him.

"Okay," he said after a while.

I wiped my eyes and glanced at him from under my bangs. "O-okay?"

"Yeah, Miles. Of course okay. What am I supposed to say? That I don't approve?"

I nodded.

He laughed and moved my hair out of my face. "Bud, I can't tell you whom to love. I can't judge. I love you, Miley. Nothing will ever change that." He opened his arms for a hug and I gratefully jumped into them.

--

Lilly sat cross-legged on my bed and I sat across from her in the same way, our knees touching. She held up her left hand and I held up my right and our fingers intertwined. Our connected hand dropped slowly.

"What is it, Lilly?" I asked, sensing that something was on her mind.

"It's so weird," she mumbled.

"Us?" I clarified.

She nodded slowly. "I never imagined it, you know? A little while ago, I thought I was in love with John."

I bristled at his name.

"And now, I'm here with you, holding your hand, telling you I love you, k-kissing you," she said shyly, smiling cutely.

"Speaking of kissing," I said, leaning forward and doing so. She pulled into her and we fell back onto my bed, her hands in my hair and hands on her hips. She sighed contentedly as my hands settled on the skin of her waist and I pulled away from her. She smiled and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"Weird?" she asked.

"Not at all," I whispered, kissing her lightly. "It feels just right."

Her hands traveled up my back, rubbing circles into my skin.

I bit my lip. "Lilly," I breathed.

"Hm?" She took my bottom lip into her mouth and I shivered.

"God, I love you so much."

--

**LILLY**

I got up and rubbed my eyes and stretched my arms. I looked to my left and was surprised to see Miley, laying in my bed, her eyes closed peacefully. I laughed as I remembered Miley climbing onto my balcony, knocking on the glass, smiling, like my female Romeo.

"Wherefore art thou, Lilliet?" she had said, kissing me as I let her in.

I kissed her quickly and got up to brush my teeth. When I got out of the bathroom, Miley was sitting up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. She saw me and patted her lap. I raised an eyebrow. "Come on, Lilly," she said cutely. I went over and sat on her lap and she kissed me deeply.

"You're so romantic, Miley," I said quietly, blushing. I felt like a little kid, sitting in her lap like this.

"Beautiful girl like you deserves romance," she replied, kissing my neck. My back arched and I realized that we were pressed together tightly. Miley's hand found its way to my stomach and I involuntarily tensed. "Sorry, sorry," she murmured, her hand escaping.

"For what?" I said shakily.

"I don't want to p-push you, Lilly."

I found myself straddling my best friend, my girlfriend, and saying, "You wouldn't be pushing, Miley."

"Lilly, I-" she started, but I cut her off with a passionate kiss.

"I love you." I leaned into her and she laid on the bed, her hands on my skin again.

"I love you, too," she whispered into the kiss.

--

_Two months later…_

I kissed Miley goodbye and watched as she walked home. I had tried to convince to stay the night, but she had to get up early for an interview as Hannah.

I turned to the kitchen to make myself a snack and the doorbell rang. I assumed it was Miley coming back for a final kiss, like always, but I turned around and gasped.

It was John, standing at my door, looking apologetic, holding flowers. I slowly opened the door. "W-what do you want?" I whispered, shocked.

"To say I'm sorry, to talk to you," he said, holding out the flowers. I took them hesitantly. "Can I come in?" he asked solemnly. I nodded numbly and he came in.

"Sit," I said. He sat down on the couch and I sat next to him. "So…what did you want to t-talk about?"

"Us," he said simply. He suddenly took both of my hands in his. "I'm sorry, Lilly. I'm sorry for everything. Those girls, none of them are like you. God, they're so superficial and vapid and annoying. I'm sorry, Lilly. I love you. I really do."

I took my hands back and clenched them. I scoffed and said, "Yeah. Why should I believe you?"

"Because I'm here, because I'm apologizing. I've never done this before. But you, Lilly, you're special. God, you're special," he mumbled, leaning forward, cupping my cheek with his hand. He kept getting closer and closer and I knew that I should stop him, I knew that I should get up and yell at him, but I couldn't. He kissed me and put both of his hands on my cheeks and I reveled in the feel of his strong palms, in the warm smell of him.

He pulled away and grinned and I opened my eyes lazily and I knew that I should feel bad but then I realized that I liked his strong hands. He kissed me again and pressed against me and I suddenly loved the feeling of his broad chest, I suddenly loved the feeling of him holding me, I suddenly loved being the smaller one. I liked him, him, him, a boy, a man.

I leaned forward and I…I put my lips on his.

--

**MILEY**

My phone rang and I smiled widely as I saw Lilly's name flash on my screen. "Hi, Lilly!" I answered cheerily.

"Hey, Miley," she replied, somewhat emotionlessly.

"What's wrong?"

"Miley…I…I don't know how to say this."

Fear went through me for a moment but I managed to say, "W-what? Say what?"

"I…I think we should…take…a break," she mumbled, so quietly that I barely heard her.

I couldn't reply. Why? Why should we take a break? Everything had been going so well? What had happened? Oh, God, I thought. I hadn't only lost a girlfriend; I'd lost my_ best_ friend. I'd lost Lilly.

"I'm sorry, Miley. Truly."

When I didn't reply, Lilly hung up.

The phone dropped out of my hands. My eyes clouded over with tears and I felt like vomiting. It had been five months, and everything had been going great.

So…why? Why?

Why had Lilly just broken up with me? And over the phone, nonetheless?

"God fucking damn it," I said horribly.

Why is the one thing I want the one thing the world won't give me?


	5. Unbalanced

Chapter Five:

_Unbalanced_

**LILLY**

I felt bad about Miley and I missed her. I realized that this meant we couldn't be friends. But man all of that disappeared when John kissed my neck, when he held me, when he picked me up.

"I don't think we should tell anybody about us," I said one day when he was at my house and I was making dinner for us.

"Really? Why?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Just…because," I said sweetly, smiling at him and leaning over the kitchen counter to kiss him.

He smiled. "Whatever you want, babe."

The truth was, I didn't want Miley to see John and me at school together. She already hated John and I'd broken up with her for him. If she saw us together, it would hurt her so badly. I bit my lip and smiled, guilt building in me. I kissed John again and let it slowly subside.

--

**MILEY**

"Over the phone?" Oliver asked incredulously.

I nodded. I had cried and cried and cried. And cried. Now I was just sitting on my bed, wrapped up in a blanket. "Thanks for coming, Oliver."

"I was worried. You missed a week of school."

"I have so many classes with her. I don't think I can see her yet. We…we can't even be friends anymore. I didn't think this would happen. I lost my _best friend_."

He stroked my head and said, "I'm so sorry, Miles."

I gave him a small smile. "It's not your fault, Ollie."

--

**LILLY**

A knock came on the door. "Coming," I said, setting down my biology book and opening the door. I was expecting John so I smiled widely as I opened the door but my smile faltered when I saw who it was.

"O-Oliver. Hi," I said quietly. "What's up?"

"Not much," he said easily.

I bit my lip, the tension so thick I could nearly see it. I knew was coming. I just knew; I could see the words around him.

"What happened?" he finally asked.

Should I lie? Should I tell the truth? Should I combine those two in some way?

"I…I don't know," I answered dumbly, going with avoiding the question.

Oliver sighed, exasperated. He ran a hand through his hair. "I talked to Miley. She said everything was going fine. What happened, Lilly?"

My eyes widened. "You talked to Miley? How is she?"

"Well, Lilly, not as happy as you. You broke up with her _over the phone_. And now you seem so…carefree. What the hell is that?"

As soon as he said that, John pulled into my driveway. I buried my face in my hands and groaned.

Oliver's jaw dropped and he turned to me, saying, "Now I get it. Well. Congratulations, Lilly."

He turned and walked away.

At that moment, I felt like the worst person in the world. But then again I was the worst person in the world right about then.

--

**MILEY**

When I saw Lilly at school, it was hard. It hurt like hell and I missed her. I missed her as my girlfriend, but I missed her as my best friend so much more. Lilly knew everything about me. And now it was so weird, so hazy without her.

At home, my dad was so understanding. He wouldn't say anything if I just came home and stayed in my room the whole day. I didn't want to be like that, so dramatic and broken, but I felt so off-balance without Lilly.

Even after two months, nothing was right. But at least summer vacation was in less than a month. I was excited that I could just get away from everything and relax.

Somebody knocked on my bedroom door. I looked up from my history book and said, "Come in, Daddy."

He peeked his head in and said, "Hey, Bud. Up for a Hannah interview this weekend?"

"Sure," I replied immediately. Diving into somebody else's skin might be nice.

--

"Thanks for coming with me, Oliver," I said.

He smiled at me. "No problem. I like your Hannah stuff."

I took a deep breath and stepped out onto the stage, smiling and waving at the crowd. Applause filled my ears and the host walked me over to a chair.

I answered the obligatory question about my music and my aspirations. I was half-asleep for most of it.

But then they asked me the question. The question that they all asked, the question that had never stopped me before.

"So, Hannah, how's the love life?"

My mouth opened and closed. The interviewer smiled and said, "Oh, I see. What about that fella you brought with you?"

I was confused. Did he mean my dad? Then I remembered Oliver. I laughed quietly. "He's a friend."

The interviewer winked at me. "Whatever you say, Hannah."

"No, really, he's just a friend."

He smiled. "_Right_. So, next question."

Why didn't he believe me? I could feel myself building up, becoming angry. "What the fuck? If I say he's just a friend, he's just a friend!" I blurted it out and as soon as I realized I did I covered my mouth and ran off stage.

I ran into the limo and laid across the backseat.

My dad soon came into the limo and rubbed my back. "Bud?"

"I'm so screwed up, Daddy. Lilly just…she caught me so off-guard. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to feel anymore," I said, the words muffled by my tears.

He didn't say anything. There really wasn't anything to say.

"That was bad," I said after a stretch of silence. "I'm sorry."

"I'll worry about it. You just worry about school for now, okay? We'll save Hannah stuff for later." He kissed my head and stepped out of the limo.

I sat up on the seat and pulled out my phone. I tapped in the number before I could think about it, before I could stop myself.

"Miley?" Lilly answered, sort of breathlessly.

"Lilly," I breathed. "Hi."

"What's…up?" she asked awkwardly.

"Nothing," I said. I realized I was whispering but I couldn't really control it. "What's…new with you?"

She took a while to answer. "Oh, n-nothing."

**LILLY**

I bit my lip. Shit. Did Miley really have to call now? Not that I'm not ecstatic, but it's just really bad timing. I tried to resist laughing as John tickled me. "Oh, n-nothing," I said in reply to her question.

She was so quiet and it sounded like she'd been crying. I got up off of John's lap and walked up to my room, mouthing to him that I'd be right back.

"You okay?" I asked tentatively.

She sniffled softly and I heard her inhale shakily before she said, "Can you tell me why, Lilly?"

And there it was. The question. Oliver must not have told her. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't going to tell her it was because of John. She would never talk to me again. At least if I lied I would still have a chance of some kind of friendship with her.

"I was scared," I finally answered.

"Sc-scared? Why?"

Shit. Crap. Fuck. I didn't know what to say. "I just was, Miley, okay? I have to go!" I hung up quickly and ran back to John, cuddling up to him.

"Who was that, baby?" he asked.

"Miley," I mumbled into his shoulder.

I felt him bristle. He knew that Miley didn't like him. I kind of stiffened. This situation was a huge mess. But, as per usual, I forgot about it by melting into John.

--

**MILEY**

"Summer vacation!" Oliver said, flopping down onto my couch. "Watch TV all day, sleep in, eat junk food!"

"Sounds like your regular weekends," I said, setting the bowl of chips on the table. I sank back into the couch and fiddled with the hem of my shirt.

"Penny for your thoughts, Miles?" Oliver said.

"After that Hannah interview disaster, I…I called Lilly," I answered slowly.

His eyes widened. "What happened?"

"I asked her why she broke up with me."

His mouth formed into a crooked line, the corners pulling down a bit. "What did she say?"

"That she was scared. Then I asked her why and she just hung up."

He exhaled loudly and ran his hands through his hair. He seemed agitated.

"What, Oliver?"

He looked me straight in the eyes. "I know why Lilly broke up with you. Why she _really _broke up with you."

"You do?" I gasped and leaned towards him. "W-why?"

"John."


	6. Because I Love You

Chapter Six:

_Because I Love You_

**MILEY**

_He looked me straight in the eyes. "I know why Lilly broke up with you. Why she _really_broke up with you."_

_"You do?" I gasped and leaned towards him. "W-why?"_

_"John."_

The word was an anvil colliding with my skull, a train crashing into my body, a sword piercing through my lungs, a flame engulfing every inch of my skin. I couldn't breathe. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run to Lilly's and spit in her face, grab John by his stupid hair and smash his face into the wall. But, underneath the anger and shock, I was_ hurt._ I never thought she would do this to me. My best friend, my girlfriend, my love. Betraying me in the worst way.

"How…how do you k-know?" I finally managed to spit out, staring hollowly at Oliver.

"I went over to Lilly's to ask her what happened, and John pulled up and it was just so obvious."

"I should hate him…and her. I just…"

"You just what, Miles?" he asked gently.

"I can't."

"Can't?"

"I can't hate either of them. I envy him. And I still love her, I still love her with everything I have."

"I know you do," he murmured, scooting closer to me and putting his arms around me. My head fell onto his shoulders and I fell into a deep, depressed sleep.

**LILLY**

"To the beach!" I squealed excitedly as John stepped into my living room.

"I thought you didn't want us to be out in public together," he said, giving me a quick peck on the cheek.

"I…I realized that wasn't fair to you, or us!"

He pulled me into himself and started kissing my neck. "I don't know, Lilly. It's so hot outside."

"But the water will cool us off!"

"Mhm." He nibbled on my neck, his hands moving down my back.

"I…beach," I whispered with little conviction. "I'm already in my swimsuit, John."

He looked at me and smirked. "That's okay with me," he said coyly, snapping the band on my bottoms.

I giggled and he picked me up bridal style, carrying me over to the couch, showering me with butterfly soft kisses. He set me down and set himself on top of me, pressing his torso against mine. I bit my lip as his hands inched ever lower on my body. He stopped when I flinched away from him. "What, Lilly?" he breathed, his lips on my shoulders.

"I…uh…I don't know."

"Do you want this?"

I thought for a second. If he didn't get it from me, he could get it from another girl. I wanted to be with him, I wanted him to want me. "Yes, yes I do."

…

**MILEY**

I couldn't mope forever. But I sure as hell wanted to.

"Dad, I want to do a Hannah thing," I said, leaning across the kitchen counter to grab another waffle.

"Are you sure you're ready for it, Honey?"

I nodded. "I want to do _something._"

"Okay. I'll set something up."

"Thanks, Daddy," I replied, doing my best to smile.

"So…I don't really want to ask but…"

"I've talked to her. She's okay."

He simply nodded and reached into the fridge for some milk. I hadn't told him that Lilly had left me for John, just that we'd broken up. I didn't want him to feel any kind of resentment for her. I sighed, wishing I could feel something other than hurt, and hopped off the chair. "I'm gonna go take a walk."

I avoided the beach, avoided crowds, opting instead for a walk in the light forest around the house. I heard a whimpering somewhere in the trees. I stopped walking, trying to identify the sound. It didn't sound like an animal. I slowly stepped forward, accidentally stepping on a branch. The whimpering stopped and I took a few more steps.

A shock of blonde hair met my eyes and I stepped back, almost falling backwards. She turned and looked at me, her eyes big and beautiful and blue blue blue, deeper than the bottom of the ocean blue, made even clearer by the red puffiness all around them. She quickly stood up and blurted out, "M-Miley!"

My mouth opened, but no words came out. Her hands were in fists at her sides and her hair was a tangled mess. Her lips were puffy and had turned a deep red. She only looked like this when she'd been crying. A lot.

"W-w-what are y-you doing here?" she stammered, rubbing her elbows nervously.

"Walking," I answered softly. "I…what…what's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing!" she replied automatically. She stepped back rapidly, her heels leaving light footprints in the soft, sandy dirt.

I walked towards and a lump fell into my throat as I realized that I could reach out and touch her arm, grab her hand, pull her towards me and hold her in my arms again. "Lilly." Her name was a whisper on my lips, two syllables that changed when directed to her, that became a beckoning, a plea, a call to the past when things were easier.

I opened my arms.

And she ran into them.

**LILLY**

It was Miley and she smelled like Miley and she felt like Miley and it was beautiful, it was familiar, it was loving, but most of all, it was _safe._ I ran into her arms like a child, held onto her like a starfish clinging onto a rock, and cried. She sat down on the log I'd been on and I ended up sitting on her lap, my arms around her neck, my eyes nuzzled into it.

I could tell she was somewhat stiff, guarded. She shouldn't even have been here. She should have left as soon as she saw me, should've laughed in my face as soon as she saw that I was crying. But that wasn't Miley, not at all.

We'd been sitting like that for a while, me crying, she stroking my hair and making sure I was comfortable. I spoke first. "Why are you here?"

"Because I love you." Her voice was soft and sad. I didn't know what to say to that and I was grateful when she finally asked, "Why are you crying?"

I couldn't answer right away; the answer to the question made me hide in her neck again, gripping the back of her shirt.

"Miley, I…" I shook my head. I couldn't say it.

"Lilly," she said softly, kissing the top of my head like she would've done as my best friend.

I need her. I need her so much in so many ways.

The words came out thick, like my throat was coated in molasses. "I…I think I'm pregnant."

I expected Miley to let go of me, to show any kind of anger towards me. But it was even worse when I felt her grip tighten, saw her eyes close, and felt tears fall out of her eyes, her shoulders shaking with sobs that only I was to blame for.


End file.
